Skinny Jeans

As much as skinny jeans are a part of today's fashion culture (I wear them, and for some reason, every dude in Queens wears 'em lol), they are not for everyone. Skinny jeans are made for (guess who?) SKINNY PEOPLE. Yes, that may come as a surprise, since unlike parking on a driveway, and driving on a parkway (damned English language), skinny jeans imply just that - skinny. I am not a fat-ist, so please don't misconstrue my statements. I, myself, though skinny, have not seen my abs ever lol. But let's not lose focus. Please, if you are a bit overweight, or aren't "skinny" put the skinny jeans away. I'm tired of seeing big dudes (pause) wearing jeans that aren't made for them. Remember Chris Farley and his "Fat guy in a little coat" routine in Tommy Boy? Well I'm tired of seeing "Fat guy in little pants." I hate to see the male version of the FUPA (fat upper pussy area), so do us all a favor and wear relaxed fit or something. It's not like bigger jeans will make your hips seem wider than your shoulders, therefore losing that V-tapered, broad shoulder look, because to be honest, your already kinda wide...no offense lol.

But wait, the skinny dudes aren't off the hook either. Can we please stop saggin' our pants to the point where I can see your boxers, EVEN WITH A WIFEBEATER (we all know them shits are long as fuck). Seriously, do I really need to see that you are indeed wearing your Tuesday boxers on mothafuckin' Tuesday? Noooo. And the thing thats funny is that some females find this shit sexy. We, the professional folks, are here sittin' on the train reading our BusinessWeek with slacks and a button-down, yet the guy in the purple skinny jeans gets the attention? WTF? I guess I never got the memo lol

So folks, here we have today's fashion tip:

Skinny jeans are for skinny guys (you don't see short people rockin' Big and Tall do you?)

Showing boxers is not a good look....