Winter

Back from another hiatus (genius doesn't happen overnight lol), I figured I'd discuss the season many dread: Winter.

As much as I love the Winter, there are a few things I hate about it. Yeah, hot chocolate with the marshmallows is the shit (except you never get to eat the marshmallows cuz they melt in the microwave; stupid marshmallows), or being bundled watchin' tv bummin' it is cool, but a few things remind you why the season is hated so much. Here are a few things that we hate during Winter.

1. Peeing

The whole peeing experience is enough to say guys have it pretty bad. How, you might ask? Ever wondered how it feels to hold your peepee to pee after coming from the blistering cold. Let's just say that our little guy disappears like a frightenend turtle. We are basically left with a clit and two balls...smh. Definitely not a fun experience.

2. Hot Chocolate w/ Marshmallows

Damn you SwissMiss, why couldn't you use better marshmallows. In my 24.95 yrs of existence (yes, .95 since my bday is next week lol), I have yet to be able to taste the mix of hot chocolate and marshmallows. Fuck you. (Sorry, had to rant again about the marshmallow situation)

3. The Train Seat

Fuck you guy with the huge ass coat, looking like the Stay Puff Marshmallow (damn I'm really thinkin' about marshmallows huh?) from Ghostbusters. I understand you wanna be warm and what not, but damn. Fuckin' coat looks like you have to inflate it with Helium before you leave the house. Jesus Christ! Now I gotta sit next to you, constricted in my mobility. I wish I carried a safety pin or a needle so I can pop your stupid North Faith coat (yes, North Faith...they exist...it's the Canal St. version of the North Face)

4. Ipod vs Gloves

Ever tried to lower/raise the volume on your Ipod with the dollar gloves? Impossible. The lack of friction from these gloves, makes it necessary to take off one of the gloves in the goddamn cold in order to change the volume. God forbid the next song is louder/lower than the previous one. You are back to square one my friend. Fuck you dollar gloves, you're great yet so useless.

5. Metrocard

Similar to number 4, ever tried to pull out your Metrocard with same dollar gloves. Impossible due to the same reasons in number 4 lol.