MTA - The "Fuck You" Experience

After a long hiatus, the blog is backkk

This morning, my hate for transit was reignited. It's not the train itself that I hate, but more those that I have to share the trip with. After the stupid "Insufficient Fare" message runs across the stupid little screen at the turnstile, and already missing my train because of it, I have to stand in the slowest line in the world (regardless of how many people are on it). You would think buying a Metrocard would not take as long as it does, yet people seem to never know how to use the fuckin' machines. C'mon son, you press the same parts of the damn touch screen every week, if not every month, yet you still get amnesia when its time to buy your metrocard. Shit is already become muscle memory to me, drink some fuck ginseng or something to help that wack ass memory. Then you got the fuckin' machine sayin' "No Bills," so you have that one person diggin' through change like a homeless dude diggin' through garbage. Another train passes by. Fuck you Metrocard Machine...fuck you.

It's now my turn, but the fuckin' credit card shit never works the first time. It's like you have to lube it up in order for it to accept the damn card. So I go to the stupid booth person (who's another fuckin' waste) and ask for a single ride. Asshole, gives me 4 dollars in quarters. Really? $4? A single ride is $2.25, yet she proceeds to give me an extra dollar in quarters like I'm doin' laundry or some shit. As I go back to purchase the card, the girl in front of me buys her card with (yes, you guessed it) a credit card. So after all that, I get my metrocard with my credit card, and now I'm walkin' around with 4 bucks in quarters...Fuck you booth lady.

This was just today. The MTA offers a "fuck you" experience every other day it seems. You have the lady with the Predator vision that can find an empty seat from a mile away and runs over every man, woman and child to get it. Then you have the "hefty" person that really thinks they can fit in that small cramped seat. Really? Your calf won't fit let alone your whole frame. Then you have the dick with the huge ass bookbag. I personally hate carrying around my gym bag, and try my best to keep it out of everyone's way. But then you have the Ninja Turtle in the face ass, who walks around with no regard for humanity. Fuck you.

Gettin' up for people also becomes a hassle. I, personally get up for elderly woman and pregnant ladies, but small children? In a packed train? Naaaaaa. First off little kid, you have the freshest legs out of all of us, so you can stand for a bit. Secondly, you can't blame me for thinking about the rest of the train. As an Economics major, you're taught about efficiency and the welfare of others. Do you think it makes sense for me (6ft tall) to give up my seat for a kid thats about 3ft tall? All I'm doin' is creating less space for everyone else by gettin' up, so please don't look at me wrong if I don't get up.

Honorable mentions:

Fuck you little kid that wants to look out the window and puts his/her foot all over you, not realizing they mighta stepped on shit and is fuckin' up your slacks.

Fuck you loud ass high school kids talkin' about "I can bag more bitches than you" or "I'm flyer than you"...little nigga won't even know what to do with a girl if they had a tutorial on youtube...

Fuck you dude/dudette that feels the need to try and fit in an already packed train when the conductor is sayin' "there's a train directly behind this one"...do you really think he/she is lyin'? Really? Cuz guess what? There really is a train behind it. The time you're wasting making a sorry attempt in gettin' into the train is equivalent to the time you'll be waiting for the next train. Is your job really that important that you have to hold up everyone else's commute? The only job I would imagine is important enough to be on time for is a surgeon/doctor. And guess what? If a doctor/surgeon had to be at the hospital ASAP, they'd take a cab dick....so again, fuck you...