The long awaited "Things I Hate Part 2" is finally here...
1) Hot Pizza
Ever burned the shit out of the roof of your mouth? If so, join the club. I always order "a slice, not too hot" yet always get "a slice, hope you burn the roof of your mouth hot." It's like the pizza dude purposely leaves it in a bit too long, gives me the slice, looks over at his pizza buddies and says "watch this...dude's gonna burn the shit out of his mouth." That's a sick game my friend...a sick game
2) First Sip of Hot Chocolate (pause)
Speaking of things that are hot, who else gets extremely scared when taking the first sip of hot chocolate. It's like venturing into the unknown. The actions are all the same - you take the cup and bring it to your mouth at a consistent pace, but once the lid touches your lip, everything is in slow motion. Your hands begin to tremble because you really don't know how hot the damn chocolate is. You tip the cup over and just sit back and wait, yet regardless of how cautious you are, you still burn the shit out of your tongue. That my friends, is the worst. It's about half a day's worth of numbness, and everything you eat after just doesn't taste the same.
3) The False Alarm Poop
Ever feel like you have to take a poop and you're certain it's gonna be a good one, so you run to the bathroom with content and delight all to find out it was just a fart? Yea, that shit sucks (no pun intended). It's like getting a huge box for Christmas thinking its a nice sound system or something, but when you open it up its a $15 giftcard to Starbucks. SMH...
Thursday, December 16, 2010
I'm Backkkkkkkk!!!!
The infamous Verdugo blog is back by popular demand. It's been a long time since I last posted, so I have to get some of the rust off...stay tuned, and enjoy...
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Things I Hate Part 1
After a long hiatus, I've returned to bring you a new series in the Verdugo Chronicles. This will be an ongoing series, detailing things that I personally despise/hate. Hope you enjoy (and I bet most agree lol).
1) Wet Socks
The fuckin' worst feeling in the world. Not only do your feet get wrinklier than old balls (pause), it just feels like you're walking around with sponges for shoes. They never seem to fuckin' stay on your feet (You know what I'm talkin' about...the sock's toebox never stays on and just hangs off your foot like foreskin lol...then when you walk, you try not to step on the fold since it's annoying as fuck...so you walk in a way that just makes this little extra piece of baggy sock stay away from going under your step, and you end up walking like you have flippers on...anyone know what I'm talkin' about or is it just me? lol). Might as well add some Mistolin and slide around your wood floors and do something productive while you're at it.
2) Getting dressed in the bathroom after a shower
It may just be me, but I hate getting dressed after I shower, while STILL in the bathroom. I'm all damp, and never seem to get all the water off. I like going to my room, dryin' off completely and then putting on my clothes. The worst is having your boxers feel like semi-dry swimming trunks - just not a good look. Your wife-beater gets stuck to the droplets on your back. Your hair remains damp, so your shirt has little moist areas. What you thought was an efficient idea, ends up being an uncomfortable one.
3) Spelling errors/Improper use of words
Granted, my blog may have some spelling errors, but most are due to colloquialisms. Besides the fact, I hate when people misspell easy ass words or use the wrong form. Here are some examples:
"OMG, nothing is worst than that"
Really? Really? Did you not learn superlatives in 8th grade? Bad, worse, worst. Punto.
Or the infamous
"I'm older then you"
Then? Really? THAN people...THAN...it's a word used in comparisons...Jesus H. (H stands for Horatio) Christ...
There are plenty of other words, but the list is longer than Tiger Wood's list of females lol...
Things I Hate Part 2...coming soon
1) Wet Socks
The fuckin' worst feeling in the world. Not only do your feet get wrinklier than old balls (pause), it just feels like you're walking around with sponges for shoes. They never seem to fuckin' stay on your feet (You know what I'm talkin' about...the sock's toebox never stays on and just hangs off your foot like foreskin lol...then when you walk, you try not to step on the fold since it's annoying as fuck...so you walk in a way that just makes this little extra piece of baggy sock stay away from going under your step, and you end up walking like you have flippers on...anyone know what I'm talkin' about or is it just me? lol). Might as well add some Mistolin and slide around your wood floors and do something productive while you're at it.
2) Getting dressed in the bathroom after a shower
It may just be me, but I hate getting dressed after I shower, while STILL in the bathroom. I'm all damp, and never seem to get all the water off. I like going to my room, dryin' off completely and then putting on my clothes. The worst is having your boxers feel like semi-dry swimming trunks - just not a good look. Your wife-beater gets stuck to the droplets on your back. Your hair remains damp, so your shirt has little moist areas. What you thought was an efficient idea, ends up being an uncomfortable one.
3) Spelling errors/Improper use of words
Granted, my blog may have some spelling errors, but most are due to colloquialisms. Besides the fact, I hate when people misspell easy ass words or use the wrong form. Here are some examples:
"OMG, nothing is worst than that"
Really? Really? Did you not learn superlatives in 8th grade? Bad, worse, worst. Punto.
Or the infamous
"I'm older then you"
Then? Really? THAN people...THAN...it's a word used in comparisons...Jesus H. (H stands for Horatio) Christ...
There are plenty of other words, but the list is longer than Tiger Wood's list of females lol...
Things I Hate Part 2...coming soon
Monday, January 11, 2010
American Idol
It's that time again...
As much as I hate the show (it was pretty cool at first, but it fell off faster than 3LW's career...stupid Cheetah girls), you have to admit that the auditions are the best part. I usually watch for the funny/idiotic/ridiculous auditions, since they are highly entertaining. Seriously, some of these people must not have friends, and if they do, those friends might not care enough about them. There are some individuals that must be part of a mean joke cuz they honestly have no talent lol. If I were their friend, I would tell them to save themselves from the humiliation, but at the same time, it's fuckin' funny as fuck (alliteration at its best lol). If one of my friends had a booger, I'd tell him he had a bat in the cave. That's just what good friends do. If they smell like ass, or their breath smells like they ate caca, I'd suggest a shower or give them gum. Again, I'm a good friend. Furthermore, if my friends sucked at singin', I wouldn't let them humiliate themselves (ok maybe a little piece of me would let them make a fool of themselves, you never know, they can become the next William Hung and get a record deal...we'd be the next Entourage babyyyyy lol).
Would I audition knowin' I suck? Probably lol...but there are people who shouldn't even be let out the house, let alone audition. The fact that these types of people exist in society scares me lol...
As much as I hate the show (it was pretty cool at first, but it fell off faster than 3LW's career...stupid Cheetah girls), you have to admit that the auditions are the best part. I usually watch for the funny/idiotic/ridiculous auditions, since they are highly entertaining. Seriously, some of these people must not have friends, and if they do, those friends might not care enough about them. There are some individuals that must be part of a mean joke cuz they honestly have no talent lol. If I were their friend, I would tell them to save themselves from the humiliation, but at the same time, it's fuckin' funny as fuck (alliteration at its best lol). If one of my friends had a booger, I'd tell him he had a bat in the cave. That's just what good friends do. If they smell like ass, or their breath smells like they ate caca, I'd suggest a shower or give them gum. Again, I'm a good friend. Furthermore, if my friends sucked at singin', I wouldn't let them humiliate themselves (ok maybe a little piece of me would let them make a fool of themselves, you never know, they can become the next William Hung and get a record deal...we'd be the next Entourage babyyyyy lol).
Would I audition knowin' I suck? Probably lol...but there are people who shouldn't even be let out the house, let alone audition. The fact that these types of people exist in society scares me lol...
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